Days 20 and 21

Well.

Last night Ryan and I decided to go on a date, since Tessa did an impromptu sleepover with Zoe at Katie's, and we wanted to celebrate Ryan's raise. We went to Jak's - Ryan's favorite.

I was terrible, but I was also really, really good. What I mean is, I broke the detox...but even though I did so moderately, I also did so in a reasonable way.

Dinner:
- one glass of wine
- one slice of bread with butter
- salad with balsalmic vinaigrette
- side of veggies
- one cup of mac and cheese
- half cup decaf
- one Bakery Nouveau chocolate croissant

So, I hit every category: gluten, dairy, sugar, caffiene, and alcohol. But the thing is, I did so with moderation. I ate only a part of the mac and cheese, and the majority of my dinner was salad and veggies. I kept to one glass of wine. In "old days" I would have had several slices of bread, and I would have had the steak dinner with the potatoes and all the rest, and Ryan and I might have shared a bottle of wine.

It was amazingly good to be restrained...and to feel full, and satisfied, and decadent. I should have split the croissant with Ryan, because it would have been enough, too.

So I am learning! I am shocked that I can learn!

This morning I did not feel sick, as I'd feared. I felt just fine - no ill effects at all. In discussion with my nutritionist/naturopathic doctor, she says that this means I have no intolerances - I hit every category with no ill effects.

So, what to do next?

I am going to try to reinsert the contraband, but do so in a very moderate way. I still plan to eat a ton of salads, but now I will add blue cheese crumbles or a little goat cheese. I will still snack on nuts and fruit. I will try to keep sugar to a minimum, and try oatmeal with no maple syrup, but cinnamon and fruit instead. I will continue eating beans and lentils. I will keep my meat portions small, and lots of vegetarian stuff. No processed food.

I mean really, the Costco brownies aren't worth it. They're just not. A home made brownie? Totally worth it. But the Costco ones? No. I think that the trick is to choose.

Cheese and crackers as a rare treat. Hummus with veggies with frequency.

This is my plan. And if I stop losing weight, I will go back to the detox mode, although I think I'll allow gluten just to save money (gluten free costs mega bucks), because it's the same calories.

So we'll move to the next phase early.

Today:
Not a wise eating plan, but it worked out. The Fourth of July, and we had planned a BBQ.

Breakfast: green tea

Snack: oops, none

Lunch: oops, none

Snack: oops, none (how did I get that late?!!!)

Dinner: a little crazy - not too bad
- hamburger (not cheeseburger) on a whole wheat bun with tomato and lettuce
- green salad
- fruit salad
- potato carrot salad dressed in a vinaigrette
- cherries and strawberries
- a few chips and salsa (maybe only 6)
- one glass of wine
- two glasses of watered down juice
- one ounce dark chocolate

The bun was a treat, the wine was a treat, the juice was a treat. But I really did fill up on "plants" and there wasn't a bunch of junk in it - just a wee bit. Strangely, I am quite full, and when I add up points to this day, it is actually very on plan for Weight Watchers points, which is shocking to me, but true. (Sometimes I count up the daily points when I write everything down, just to get a reality check, even though I'm not doing Weight Watchers.)

My goal is to be very healthy: to eat in a healthy way, allowing for occassional treats. My goal is to feel great. My goal is to live a long life. I'd also like to drop 20 pounds.

My last weigh in, I was 157.5. I am on my way....down from 164.5, so 7 pounds. I can do this.